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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?